The End

Here is a place for all you storywriters, storytellers and poets to show us what you've got...
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Kielo91
manatee keeper
Posts: 1002
Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2004 8:38 am
Location: Indiana

Post by Kielo91 »

Hey, I haven't posted in this section in awhile, but I've had this thing for poetry lately, and thought I'd try my hand at it. I make some rhyming ones, and some they don't rhyme.
This following poem I made is about a dog I knew well as Bonzo. She died of Cushings disease when I was nine, and I still miss her. This is a little something for her:

The End

Her yellow fur is soft as silk,
And I bury my troubles in it.
Her sweet face is like the stars in the sky,
And I keep my memories in it.
Her friendliness is like a teddy bear,
And cherish my love in it.
It is not just the appearance that triggers,
That love,
But the heart that is inside her that shines,
The glow.
I love you always,
My friend,
My bud,
Even when you have left me,
And I have you no longer by my side.
I could never have known the sadness,
Of losing a friend,
A pet that I will always cherish to,

THE END...


Well, that's it for now, but I might post more later. just lemme know what you think. Thanks. :)
<b>Do you smell that smell? A kind of smelly smell that smells... smelly.
Life is just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews.</b>
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Kielo91
manatee keeper
Posts: 1002
Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2004 8:38 am
Location: Indiana

Post by Kielo91 »

Do you think anything's wrong with the poem? If so, please say so, and I will try to do better in future poems. Thanks again. :)
<b>Do you smell that smell? A kind of smelly smell that smells... smelly.
Life is just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews.</b>
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Jay
african elephant keeper
Posts: 11558
Joined: Thu Jan 15, 2004 9:23 pm
Location: Orlando, FL (M:68)

Post by Jay »

Given the purpose, only you can say if anything's wrong with it. If it helped at all to fill a void or if you feel it is a fitting tribute, then there can't be anything wrong with it.

Now, if you're asking if I enjoyed reading it, my opinion doesn't really count. The only poems I recall enjoying are The Night Before Christmas, The Raven, and The Cat in the Hat. (I like the messages in very many songs also, but that is a different category to me, since the music/melody have to also emphasize the messages.)
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